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Conversations after marriage are so different than those that happen prior to marriage.

Me: I’m so glad that you’re coming home.
Steve: I’m happy that I get to see you too.
Me: I’ll probably even wash my hair for your arrival.
Steve: When did you last wash your hair?
Me: I don’t know. Two, maybe three days ago.
Steve: I’m hanging up. Go take a shower!

I love this man so much I even used detangler.